Audacity

You know last year in about April a parent actually had the audacity to write the school and complain that the staff was obese and disgusting. I was furious at first. How dare someone label a whole staff much less me. Especially when I had accepted her Down's Syndrom child and was doing the best I could to help him learn and go down a path that would lead toward his independence. I demanded that the principal respond supporting his staff and for a change he agreed and wrote her a letter back.

In April I started taking care of myself. I decided that day that no one was ever going to refer to me in that manner again, what hurt the most was that she was right. I had let my horrible marriage and stressful job give me a reason to eat anything I wanted when I wanted. I hadn't even really been aware that it had happened.

Ok - so maybe it was May when I sucked up my anger and decided she was right. If I saw that parent now I would thank her for spitting in my face and waking me up - I was in a lost world and now I'm not. Starting in May... until now I have lost 68 pounds - the long slow hard way - but that is the only way that works. And I'll keep going until I'm back in soccer playing fitness because that is where I feel the best. When I can kick a ball down a field, or dribble it and cross it over to the striker for a goal. That is the best feeling in the world.

So today when I really didn't want to take the dog on a three mile walk in the morning - I sucked it up and took him. I didn't want to do my 3 mile video work out either... and I postponed that until after the kids came home from school - then I sucked it up, changed my clothes, told the kids I needed 45 minutes of uninterruped me time and started getting busy. They actually cooperated and I didn't have to stop 10 times to referee.

I've learned a lot about myself these past few months... one is what took me 15 years to put on is coming off easier than I thought it would, but that it has taken focus and dedication and hard work. Things my dad taught me when we were preparing for my one and only cross country ski race, but I had forgotten.

Do I still have a ways to go? Yes I do, but in the bath today I thought "Dang those are nice looking thighs and look you can actually see your feet..." seems like such an easy thing to say about oneself but it just about brought tears to my eyes. My goal was 70 pounds by Christmas - didn't make that one cuz in November and December I took it easy... now the goal is 70 pounds by my birthday which is this weekend. I know that I'll make it even if it means a little extra walking, a little less eating and a ton more water. I have actually learned to drink water - that was the hardest part... giving up soda... but giving up soda and moving on with my life - has of course changed the path that my life is on. Thank God! and Thank that Mom who although rude, gave me a slap in the face I dearly needed.

Peace,
G