Please Just Don't Pee on my Pants

The trials, tribulations and successes of a teacher on her own journey towads independence.

Friday, March 5, 2010

In Search of Peace

There is nothing like the soft soothing music of Gordon Lightfoot to melt a troubled heart. When I hear his music I Remember being at the Wolter's for taco party nights. My parents drinking wine and playing games and laughing, laughing, laughing. Drippy candles lighting the room with soft warmness of Jesus' touch.

That is such a comfortable, safe place to be... lost in the haze of happiness. It is no wonder that even today when my world overwhelmes me I long to be lost in candle light, Gordon Lightfoot and a really good glass of wine. My wonder then turns to why I'm crying instead of laughing? Where has the happiness gone?

Why was it I could feel safe sitting on the kitchen floor wrapped in moms arms listening to Gordon Lightfoot. It doesn't feel safe to me now when I do with my kids. I wonder if it feels safe to them? I wonder if Mom did that in search of her own safeness?

I sit and watch the candle burn... dripping onto the wine bottle. Watching the colors, red, blue, green flowing together and turning brown. It takes me back to the smell of honeysuckle and the sound of my mom's voice singing along to Gordon Lightfoot. It takes me back to somewhere safe. Somewhere, where i don't have to do anything but just be loved. Takes me back to the flowergirl I at times so long to visit.

I miss you mom. Peace,

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