Today has been a much harder day than I was prepared for or expected. The first day back of spring break... I'm sure most stay at home mom's are relieved to have their kids back in school. So that means that my kids are back at school and the house is quiet. I know there are times I wish it was quiet when they are around because of the bickering, but I miss their presence.
Yesterday I saw one of the aides at the store... everything is fine, great; so that is what I explain, it couldn't be better; but part of me inside didn't know how to respond. Kind of makes me feel like I'm lost, my purpose is lost. The day after spring break has always been a high intensity day; kids kicking, screaming, biting, restraining... I was prepared for that because that is what this day always is like for me and gearing up for the battle and having it not be there suddenly has thrown my world off.
I know I'm doing well. Have the nicest place to stay since I lived with my parents, two cars that run, three kids that for the most part are the light of my life, and a boyfriend in Wisconsin that means the world to me. But it takes time to adjust to a new life and I wasn't prepared for that. If I had known this day would be so hard emotionally on me I would have prepared myself... set up something to do with my friends that stay home, gone out to lunch, had them over, gone to a movie... something to distract my mind; which once it gets focused is not easy to distract...
So, ah... the day is half way over and I'm going to be ok; I will survive this day because i survive all days just some are easier than others...
Peace,
G
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Just thought I'd send a *hug* and hope today was easier for you. :)
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