Please Just Don't Pee on my Pants

The trials, tribulations and successes of a teacher on her own journey towads independence.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Standing True

So I've been reading a book about the fact that no one can steal your dignity or security unless you let them. Sounds easy enough in a book... but in real life it is much more challenging.

For example the other day I was approached by one of my ex's current or past girls friends (or screws - yes that was a dig) and she completely verbally attacked me. She accussed me of being a horrible person and a person not worthy of being a mother. I stood there and took it... I have her my dignity and security. So as I think back on the situation I try to analyze it and find the best way I could have handled the problem... this is what I have come up with 1) I could have punched her in the face and told her to mind her own fucking business (probably not the best option but atleast a reaction; 2) I could have told her how I raise my kids was my business and not hers (probably a better reaction; 3) I could have just gotten in my car and not spoken to her at all (probably the best option keeping the most amout of my dignity in tact.

Instead I took the beating which no one should have to stand for. That was 3 days ago, and reminds me how my ex-husband treated me. I wonder - have I really not grown at all? was I just caught that off guard? did I just not see it coming? or am I just that non-confrontational that I will avoid conflict at any cost to myself. Today is day three - I'm still recovering. For someone like me it may take two weeks to recover from an attack like that.

I need to remember my training and the things I learned and stand up for me - because I'm really the only one who has the ability to do so.


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