As I have raised my children to this point in their life; I have learned which battles to fight, which ones are worth the know down drag out fight and which ones you just let go... and I did say let go... you let them have it their way because the relationship and understanding and respect is more important than what you may be fighting over. An example:
Yes, my kids, all three have cell phones. They have cell phones because the one time they went to Las Vegas with their dad they were 9 hours late coming home and there was no phone call... count them 9 hours. That was long enough to fly to Hawaii and be part way to the islands where they would disappear. So they have phones.
Are there phone guidelines - yes. The guidelines are simple 1) mom gets to read your texts anytime she asks - no arguing or phone goes away. 2) stop phone use at a reasonable hour - during school this means if you are cranky when you wake up in the morning - mom starts getting the phone at 8 pm until she feels you can manage a social life and getting up for school; also passing grades are required. That's it. The teenagers need their phones because it is how they socialize in current society. When I was a teenager I could care less about the phone; even now I could really care less except for safety matters and of course talking to Greg.
Now when it comes to laundry - that is a hill to have a small battle over. If the laundry isn't down here to be washed, I can't wash it. The consequence is that you don't come to me the night before you want to wear something and ask me to wash it; but you are free to wash it yourself if you can somewhere come up with a full load of laundry. Not worth dieing over, but worth setting limits over.
I actually can't think of a mountain worth dieing over - compromise for a win-win is always where I go first. What can I live with and what is reasonable... I'm a smart woman when I use my head.
So parents know that you will have battles - just pick the ones that are worth dieing over and if they aren't worth dieing over - let it go.